When you think of babies, several things may come to mind. For some, it is the adorable chubby cheeks or the tiny size which greets us when they are first born. Maybe it is the hair they have or don’t have. Or perhaps when you think of babies, you don’t picture a newborn, but rather a six-month old who has just learned to sit up, and upon their face is a huge smile of accomplishment. You might picture the little rolls of baby fat on their legs and you know that the tiniest tickle will result in the cutest squeals of delight.
Others think of the babies they have lost and know they will never hear that squeal, or see that itty bitty size. And others think of hope when they think of babies. They think about the next try, the next procedure, the next shot, all in hopes of a baby as an end result.
Infertility…it seems as though it is rarely talked about, but yet one out of eight couples are currently having infertility issues. Why are we, as a society, not talking about this more often? Why are these couples not able to openly talk about this? Why is the term ‘Rainbow Baby’ not widely recognized?
I want to personally change the conversation. I want to start a dialogue.
I am a Rainbow baby!
My mom lost two babies after having my older brother. She then went on and was blessed with me and my sister. I truly believe that there is a reason for everything; it’s my mantra. When my mom lost two of her babies, it was incredibly difficult for her, but there is a reason for everything. The reasons may be hard to swallow or understand, but then I came along. I am a reason. And I have to say, I’m pretty amazing!
The couples who are struggling with infertility should not be in this by themselves. One of my dear friends is currently dealing with this struggle. She and her husband try one thing one month and then another the next month. It is a constant battle. They have been fighting this fight for a few years. I know that some couples fight this fight for five, seven, or even ten years. Some of these couples never being able to bring a baby into the world.
Many families feel called to adopt or use a surrogate. Both of these events are heart breakingly beautiful! Conception is a true miracle and raising a child is worth every moment of that uphill fight. The couples going through this just want a listening ear and a warm hug. Maybe sparkling wine so they feel like an adult.
I have been working with families and their newborns for quite some time. I have seen parents lose their baby at three weeks and I have seen them lose a child at forty weeks. It is a life lost, no matter the age. It is their child.
I feel that any life, is a life worth CELEBRATING. You hear that whisper of, “Shh, don’t tell anyone we’re expecting, it’s too soon”. I believe that you have a life inside of you and you deserve to celebrate that little one. Go ahead, tell your close family and friends, have a celebratory cake, and some sparkling wine (non-alcoholic for the mom-to-be). There is a chance that you may lose the baby, anyone runs that risk, and it is heartbreaking if it happens. It’s going to hurt regardless of having told close family and friends or not. It can be easier to grieve a loss when you have people in the trenches with you; helping you and supporting you. I know that my mom wishes she had spoken up about her lost babies so that she would have had someone to walk with her on that journey.
I am thankful everyday for my beautiful kids. I am thankful for the dirty dishes and the mud that is tracked halfway across my kitchen floor, which was just cleaned earlier. I am grateful for the mysterious puddle. I’m overjoyed at the snuggles I get every night from my babies. Logan will be ten this summer, Luke is seven, and Liv is two. I cannot seem to figure out where the last ten years have gone, but I do know that I would not trade these past years for anything. These ten years of parenting have made me who I am today, and I like what I see in the mirror.
So, I have been thinking a lot about how BlueCopper Photography can give back. When my good friend lost her third baby, I knew where I was needed. I want to help document families and their roller coaster lives. I want to take TEN families under my wing and capture the celebrating, the possible grieving, and the life. I want to capture the entire process. I want to show the world that this is something we CAN talk about. I don’t want it to be a taboo subject anymore. I would hope that the documentation of the journey would open up the lines of communication and create a much needed dialogue in society.
We know life is beautiful. I want people to know how truly special it is, no matter the circumstances.
I am calling this adventure Sweet Lullabies.
I am currently looking for families who I can begin this adventure with...tell me about yourself and the journey you have been on thus far. I hope to be a good fit into your journey, so I can help document all of the small and big moments. There is no charge for any of these sessions, this is my way to give back, as long as you will let me. If this is something you would like to watch grow and evolve, feel free to share. Please share with everyone, because knowledge is power. You never know who may need something like this in their lives. Perhaps you are not quite ready to share your journey, but I will be here with an open heart when you are ready.